We finally did it! We've been planning this boat trip for two years, and this weekend the dream became a reality.
Eight very excited princesses met at the Table Bay Hotel on the morning of Friday 21 November to await boarding time. Wheat free crunchies and designer cappuccinos set the scene for the start of the bookless book club 2008 tour.Shipmates in attendance were Randy, Inge, Jayni, Spice, Charming (Lionel), Gabbi, Jo (Dory) and Barbie.
Princess Inge had a bad moment when she realized that she had left her ID book at home. (She being the one who organised all of us and was responsible for reminding all of us as to what was required of us, yes, she was the one who forgot!) But her hubby was kind enough to drive all the way back out to Big Bay, in early morning traffic mind you, to fetch it.
The MSC Rhapsody was scheduled to leave the harbour at 13h00, but there was some trouble getting permission to leave apparently. This did not deter the happy travellers. Much to our delight we found that it is so much easier spending money when you don't actually see it leave your hands. Each person is given a card operating in dollars that is eventually taken off against your Rands cash. We quickly found the bar area and a lovely sunny spot on the deck and sat back to watch the entertainment. Our entertainment director and his crew outdid themselves with dancing, singing and bright sparkly costumes, rivaled only by a group of gay (and I don't mean happy) men. These guys proved to be a constant source of entertainment, as they went out of their way to dress up and make the most of their holiday.
Of course the princesses themselves are extremely talented when it comes to entertainment, with Princess Jo being renamed Dory, due to her constant memory loss. We eventually lost count of the number of times we were accused of losing her keys, cruise card, huge orange bag and heaven knows what else.
We befreinded a lovely young man by the name of Toby (pronounced Tourbee), at which stage Princess Barbie thought he was speaking of a career opportunity ie Tour A and Tour B, prompting much laughter from everyone, while Toby merely sat looking bemused and a little alarmed.
One can't blame him.
We all had to partake in a compulsory emergency drill, where we got to wear our life jackets and were all supposed to congregate in the lounge area to learn how to stay alive should the ship sink. Thank goodness it didn't, because we would all be lying on the bottom of the ocean by now thanks to Inge, who had to have the longest toilet break in history. We missed the whole thing!
Princess Gabi managed to bring her own coffin along on the cruise. The cabins were tiny and as we were sharing 4 to a cabin, the coffin pretty much took up all available space. We seriously considered letting Princess Gorgeous sleep in there, as her bunk bed appeared to be in constant danger of collapsing. Not that anyone had much sleep, much to Princess Randy's disgust.Her sleeping habits are inconsistant, to say the least. Add to that an anchor chain lodged just outside our porthole, banging against the side of the ship in the wind, three cell phones that either rang or chimed at all times of the night and morning, and cabin mates lurching in to go to bed as the sun rises, and you will have someone who has not slept in 48 hours and is beginning to resemble a murderous ghoul. I quote, "WTF!"
But we made do, famously I might add.
I suppose much of this is the "you had to be there" type of funny, but we found everything hysterical. Shipmate Spice had us all worried when her bag began vibrating whilst we all sat having a quiet (or not so quiet) drink in the lounge, only to discover that her electric toothbrush (took some time to convince us that's what it was) had switched itself on.
Jayni was almost renamed Shipmate Klepto due to her alarming tendency to make off with people's lighters. Rumour has it that she was recently given 14 lighters by a colleague and is still bumming lighters off everyone else. She has no idea where the 14 lighters went to.
There were a few green moments for some of us, but the parties more than made up for that.
Then there was Luigi! How do I explain Luigi adequately.
He was our maitre D for the weekend, 
which meant he looked after our tables. The man is Italian and clearly takes his job very seriously. I became quite afraid of him early into the journey. You were made to eat all 46 courses really fast, so that the staff could get in and clean up. You were not allowed to make any changes to the menu either. Just ask Princess Honey aka Captain aka Charming! She had the audacity to request chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce, when the menu clearly stated (OK, it wasn't that clear) Vanilla ice cream. Luigi turned a strange shade of purple and began ranting alarmingly in Italian. Luckily none of us understands Italian, so the whole thing was quite amusing. I asked him to pose for us shortly after the "misunderstanding", and as you can see he had everything back under control.
Breakfast was a different story altogether.
No-one told us that the dining room closed at nine am. And believe me, not a second later. We began trickling in at about 08h50, only to be shunted from table to table. We were not allowed to use a table that had already been used, and there were no others. There ensued a battle of wills, until an elderly gentlemen took pity on us (or perhaps he just wanted to shut us up) and he found us a table. Mind you there was no cutlery or condiments, and Jany had to fight (quite literally) for a piece of bacon. But we ate! After that we made sure we ate at the upstairs buffet where the staff are a little more friendly.
The weather wasn't great, but we managed to get some sun bathing in, some more than others! Jo, those arms? The parties on the deck both evenings were fabulous. At one stage when the boat resembled the one that swings at a 09 degree angle at Ratanga Junction Randy asked why we can't just turn the boat around so that it doesn't rock as much. She says that there was logic in that, somewhere....
We also watched the Bokke annihilate England in the lounge , enduring Charming's questions like when she was told that the score was 3 all, and she wanted to know who had 3. We all just pretty much shake our heads in wonder. By this stage we had become most annoyed as some husbands had mentioned drugs being pumped through airducts and sexy cabin boys taking advantage of us. This never happened! I am definitely going to write and complain! We had however made contingency plans. The braver ones amongst us had smuggled alcohol in their bags. So there we sat pouring spirits into our cokes under the tables, from our hand bags. Very classy!There was karaoke, there was Jo throwing her own drink in her face in an attempt to look gorgeous in front of all the party revellers. That one was clearly not well thought out at all.
There was "The Package" - who had Mel gulping and choking on her strawberry daiquiri with fright!
There was Jorge, our sweet waitron who made sure that we were never without drinks. As a token of their appreciation Mel and Inge decided to lock him in the toilets one evening. The poor boy has never been the same since. I hear he is considering a career change.
There was John, following us around like a puppy with a multitude of drinks in his hands. It was amazing to watch as he never spilled once. He said that we were so mysterious and wonderful, and I have to agree.
As Gabbi put it, "YAW, what a flippin awesome time was had...."
